Top Reasons To Join
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1. You can meet more people online than you could ever hope to meet in a local
bar or nightclub.
2. Everyone on an online dating site is there for the same reason - to meet new people and maybe find a date!
3. You do not have to dress up to date online - you can do it when you want, where you want, even in your pyjamas if you
like!
4. Online dating is a great way to get to know people at your own pace.
5. You have the opportunity to really showl yourself and get your personality across how you want to.
6. Online dating allows you to make sure you are looking your best and you don't have to feel nervous about how you
appear to potential dates.
7. Different communication ways give you a chance to interact with your potential date in a way you are comfortable with
and really get to know them.
8. Online dating is safe and secure.
9. Online dating is fun! Where else can you chat with numerous prospective dates and see who takes your fancy?
10. Online dating really does work! Literally thousands of people all around you have tried and been successful dating
online and are really glad they gave it a try!
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Top Reasons To Try  |
1, Meet wealthy and successful men who make over $150k a year.
2, You receive more emails from other members than from any other dating site.
3, Members are verified using our patented Certified Millionaire Verification System.
4, User friendly and easy to navigation, save you more time.
5, Connect with hundreds of new members every day.
6, Connect with CEOs, professional athletes, doctors, lawyers, investors, entrepreneurs, professional models and
cheerleaders, and Hollywood celebrities at the same time. It's 10 times more convenient than any other dating sites.
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| Online dating: Security tips you need to know. |
| Thursday |
Know Who You're Seeing Ascertain the kind of man you’re dealing with as soon as possible. This needs to be done tactfully. Ask questions to “authenticate him” and to find out who he is. A man should be willing to tell you what he does for a living and who he works for. If he says he’s “in business for himself”, ask what the name of his company is and ask what they do. (Women may wish to be more circumspect about where they work until they feel good about a guy which might take fifteen minutes or two or three dates. You probably do not want the guy showing up unannounced at work.) Ask where he lives. If you feel a man is being very coy, I wouldn’t see him again. Most men have little to fear from women and should be open with you. Not being open may signal that he doesn’t do what he says, doesn’t want to tell you where he works or lives or is a man who doesn’t want to be identified. Having a man tell you “I work on Wall Street” doesn’t tell you very much. He may also be married, masquerading as single. Learn enough about a guy so that he could be “checkable”, even if you do not do it. Of course, if you know somebody who works at his company or lives in his area, tactfully ask about him, or have someone else help. You might get a good report, which can be encouraging, or you might learn something that will cause you to cross him off the list. “Men of mystery” may sound fine in movies and in books, but in the real world, know who you are dealing with as best as you can. Personal Safety If you exercise caution and prudence about who you go out with, and the situations you are in, most of the time the men you date will be gentlemen and personal safety will not be a dating issue. If you feel that a man's behavior is improper, say so. If he tries anything that is not welcome, be very firm in saying no. If he persists, tell him that "No means no. I expect to be treated like a lady." Never go anywhere isolated with someone you do not know well. Watch your drink if you need to leave the bar or table. Some men have been known to slip drugs into them. If there is only a little of your drink left, finish it before you get up. Be careful how much you drink. It can affect how you act and respond. Hopefully, you will never have to resort to the use of personal protection devices on a date, or any other time, but it is something you should consider. One safety device all women should have is a cell phone. Leave the phone on when you are out. Many of them are already programmed, or can be programmed, that when you push and hold on the "9", or other programmed key, it will automatically dial "911". Other personal protection products include pepper sprays and high decibel alarms. The products are available from many sources,including the link shown below. Check with a police officer or attorney in your community to ascertain what the law is with respect to the use of personal protection devices. It is against the law to take pepper sprays on an aircraft. Any products designed to further ensure your safety are ones you should take the time to consider. There is also a digital pedometer/alarm which measures distance and calories burned which has a pull cord which when activated produces a loud panic alarm. Stay fit and safer at the same time. This product was mentioned in "Health Magazine" for women. It struck me as a very sensible, and additionally useful, safety device. There are also a number of personal safety videos for women, self defense courses and other manners of protection you may wish to consider. Always wear your seat belt and lock your car doors. Both will offer you greater protection in an accident. I was hit by a hit and run driver. My car was totalled when I lost control and went into a concrete median. If I hadn't had my seat belt on, I would not be writing this now. Be safety conscious. I mention this as a matter of general safety, not specifically relating to dating. While there is no perfect advice on this point, a video developed by a former City of Chicago police officer recommended that if you ever are threatened by someone with a weapon ordering you to come with him, it is better to make your stand right there at "Location #1". Run and scream "Fire!", not "Help!" which people are more likely to ignore. If you are grabbed, use pepper spray, a personal alarm, gouge eyes, scream "Fire", bite, kick or do whatever you have to do. It is no time to be "a lady". The location an assailant would take a victim to, "Location #2", is only going to be more isolated and therefore more dangerous. I've mentioned these things not to unduly alarm you, but so you will think safety, be forewarned and better prepared. Never walk in dark areas or stay in buildings where you are alone. Being "street smart" involves staying out of harm's way. Always make sure that there is at least one person who knows that you are going on a date and when and where you are supposed to meet and what time you expect to be back. If you feel it is a situation where you don't want anyone else to know, write information out and leave it in your home or apartment in plain enough view for someone who might later need to look for it. If you are going out and a guy is picking you up in his car initially, or takes you out in it later in the evening, when you go to the lady's room or are someplace private, leave the car's license number, where you are and your date's name on an answering device at home or at work. You should always have your own cell phone with you, and again never go anyplace lonely with anyone you don't know well. As an additional precaution, if you know anyone in law enforcement, show them what I have written and ask for their advice about anything else that they, in their professional experience, feel that you should do to protect yourself. |
| posted by Ask Eileen @ 02:57
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| Internet dating: I'm Addicted to Dating! |
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| It was Saturday night. I poured another glass of wine for myself and tucked in to my takeaway for one. Absent mindedly flicking through the tv channels, mixed feelings of boredom, loneliness and sheer terror washed over me. After just four years of marriage, I was on my own again. And with the big 40 around the corner, I wasn't looking forward to being 'back on the market' one little bit.
Me and my ex had met through work. I was his boss. He was younger than me. There was a kind of ego power trip going on when we got married. It was fun. Adventurous. I felt in control, like I was his mistress. We'd met in March and were married by that December with a baby on the way. But the spark I'd mistaken for love was nothing more than excitement. It soon vanished and we both knew we'd rushed into things. | | Four years later, I was a 39 year old single mum with very few single friends to go out with 'on the pull'. And despite the wonderful world of cosmetics, I wasn't the spring chicken I used to be. I certainly couldn't compete with the silky smooth, cellulite free species of half naked girls who thought a stretch mark was something you got in an over used pair of tights.
Of course, I had my six year old boy, Matthew, to keep me busy. But you soon get fed up with night after night sat in on your own with nothing but Thomas the Tank Engine for company.
My days of clubbing were over. I needed to meet single men in a more suitable fashion, in a way that didn't leave me looking desperate like Jennifer Saunders' sad character in Ab Fab. I was actually a very sociable and outgoing person, spending all day with all sorts of people as a fully qualified nurse. Being on my own scared me more than the thought of a date with strangers. I just needed to meet them in the first place.
"Why don't you give the personals column in the local paper a go?" suggested a friend one day.
"No way!" I laughed. "That's so sad!"
The next day I went out and bought a local paper, turned straight to the personals section and read the ads with curiosity. I decided it wasn't that bad. I'd give it a go.
'Bubbly blonde looking for friendship. Maybe more.' It was totally unoriginal but I was new to this. It was still good enough to get several messages left in my voice mail box which I collected that weekend. Most sounded duller than a party political broadcast. But one was OK. His name was Steve and he lived pretty nearby. I liked his voice and the fact that he described himself as someone who didn't take life too seriously. I was a sucker for a sense of humour.
That first date was terrifying. But very exciting. I felt like a school kid all over again. We met a few times and got on fantastically. But there was something missing. That spark, that little something extra. We both realised that we were destined to be best mates...but not lovers.
Despite the lack of romance, I was determined not to class it as a failure. It was a success. I'd had a few nights out, which beat Saturday night telly hands down. And I'd made a new friend. After that...I was hooked!
My second date in comparison, really was a disaster. I sat in my car on the beach where we'd agreed to meet. He was rallying his beach buggy up and down on the sand. I waited for the hunk of a man who'd replied to my latest ad to drive over and say hi. I had a picture of him that he'd posted to me, and couldn't wait to meet him in the flesh - he looked gorgeous! And here he was, racing on the beach like a character from Baywatch. I dreamed of how I wanted the next hour to go and drifted off into my own world of romance and sex Gods.
"Hello," came a shrill voice at the car window, suddenly, making me jump. "You must be Shelley. I'm Paul."
He smiled a big smile, revealing the best advert for going to the dentist I'd ever seen. He must have had two teeth if he had any at all! I burst out laughing hysterically, couldn't keep a straight face. He looked more like Paul Daniels than Paul the hunk I was expecting! Not only did he have the misfortune of no teeth and of looking nothing like the picture he'd sent me, which must have been easily twenty years old, but he was also cursed with the foulest of breath and had apparently had a complete personality bypass operation. Three hours later he was still talking about engineering over the same glass of orange juice. I wondered if the edge of my wine glass was sharp enough to cut my wrists.
Sadly for me, that wasn't the last nightmare date. It was the first of many. But as I became more experienced and confident, the nightmare dates began to split up into sub categories. There were the nightmare boring dates, the nightmare pervert dates, and the nightmare stalker dates. | At first, I often felt too mean or bad to say 'no thanks, not for me' as soon as I knew a man wasn't right for me. I'd endure painful nights out, even go on second dates with men I wouldn't have looked once at in the street. But several 'bored to tears' dates later, I became much better and stronger at saying 'no thanks'.
But it was the men who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer who were the worst...and the scariest. One man seemed perfect to start with. He was kind, caring, attentive. I received flowers delivered to my door, loving text messages, romantic meals. We had three dates in total. But I knew deep down he just wasn't my Mr Right, there was something about him but I didn't know what. After I told him, he changed completely, showed his true colours. I started getting viscous, evil text and phone messages, saying that I was an evil bitch who didn't deserve to be happy. He parked up outside my house for two days straight in his van. Never budged. He sent a text saying he knew where my mother lived and that he'd pay her a visit. I was terrified. | 
| | "If I ever see you again I'm going straight to the Police...you freak!" I screamed down the phone before hanging up. I never saw him again.
After that date, I gave it a rest for a few months. But the boredom soon crept back. And even a rubbish date seemed more appealing than a lonely night in on my own.
I turned to text dating. You submitted your post code and got texts from people in your area, looking for a date. It was a lot more successful than the paper for actually getting out and meeting people. I must have had ten dates in three or four months. People were braver with the text dating. No pics, no voices. The texts could often be very saucy. The danger was that each date was a totally blind date which had its obvious pitfalls. But there was an extra excitement too. Not knowing what to expect. I always tried to be as careful as possible, arranging dates in public places and letting a friend know where I was going. I'd often turn up early for the date and case the joint. Once I turned up for a date and recognised the man I was supposed to be meeting from his description of what he was wearing. I was horrified. He looked more like 68 than 38. I felt slightly ashamed as I kept on walking right past him and straight back to the car!
The text dating produced a lot of dates, but no success. And an enormous phone bill. I stared in horror at my mobile bill for £350 one month. I soon stopped text dating after that.
"I'm on the net and having some great results," said Steve, the guy I'd met on my first ever date. "Give it a go."
He recommended a few dating sites and I logged on, built my profiles and uploaded my pics. He was right. The internet was a great way of meeting people. It was a simple case of there being so many profiles for both men and women to look at and email. It was almost overwhelming. In my first weekend on 'U Date', I got 33 messages! And from guys of all ages. The oldest was in his seventies, looking for a younger woman for a bit of no strings action. I laughed at the thought of seeing him naked. Thank God he didn't send me any pictures. Unlike so many other guys - who seemed to think that emailing me a disgusting photograph of their genitalia was all that they'd need to secure a hot night of passion with me at the nearest hotel!
Even gorgeous young lads as young as 19 and 20, desperate to get laid by a sexy older woman and report their conquest back to their pals, were convinced that a video of them masturbating would have me flocking to their bedrooms and stripping off. If I was supposed to be impressed, it wasn't working. If I was supposed to laugh until almost wetting myself, it was working a treat. | | 
| The other predator on these sites, as I discovered the hard way, was the married man. Twice, I met up with men who seemed perfect in every way, only to discover they had a wife and kids. One man really wooed me, picking me up in his Porsche and whisking me off to a luxury resort for the weekend. I fell for his charms and was convinced I'd found Mr Right. But the second we'd slept together, he broke my heart.
"You're not for me," he said coldly, "but if you want to meet up regularly just for sex then that's fine."
I was gobsmacked. I felt so used, so dirty. I'd never had a one night stand in all my life. Now, at 40, my record had been shattered.
"Get over yourself you creep," I yelled. "Who the hell do you think you are?" | | It became painfully obvious that despite the high numbers of men on these websites, more than half of them were after only one thing...and it certainly wasn't love or romance. I couldn't trust the pictures they posted as their own. I couldn't trust their description of themselves as honest, caring, single men looking for a serious relationship. And I couldn't trust myself not to fall for it again and again. 'Genuine' was a word used all too often on these profiles. But in reality, few actually were remotely genuine. But when you're lonely, a little affection and a bit of flattery, plus a bottle of wine can get a girl into situations that you wouldn't normally let happen.
One guy described himself as tall, muscular, handsome and Italian. He turned out to be 5ft 3" and had the build of the man off the Mr Muscle ads! There was more 'Italian' in my PVC handbag.
Another man from Bristol couldn't keep his hands off me from the other side of the table in the restaurant.
"You're gorgeous," he letched. "All my Christmas's have come at once. You're my dream woman."
He made me feel sick.
He gave me a lift home but when I turned down his offer of meeting again, he wouldn't let me out the car! It was funny at first, but an hour later I was still persuading him to let me out as he begged me to give him an other chance. I was genuinely terrified as I sat there, wondering what the hell I'd got myself into this time.
After two years of playing the dating game, I've earned the title 'Ice Maiden' from my friends. They think my problem is that I'm too fussy. But the truth is I'm an old romantic, and with one failed marriage to look back on, I'd rather wait for Mr Right than settle for Mr Right Now! I don't think I'm asking for too much. My dream man is no different to any other woman's. Tall, dark, handsome, muscular, intelligent, independent, kind, loving, and with a great sense of humour!
My latest adventure is speed dating. It's definitely a good way of meeting people, but it comes with no guarantees! I've had some great nights out, but sadly they're far out numbered by the amount of awful nights I've suffered. >From being bored to death, to having men not taking no for an answer, >to being practically stalked.
I've had love letters, proposals, churches booked for the big day after one date! Flowers left at the door, boxes of chocolates and bottles of wine...even a kebab and chips from the man up the road in the chip shop!
But for all the fun, it's very hard work being single at my age. Especially when some men won't look at your son as part of the package but more like unwanted baggage. I'm at the stage now where I don't even think I'll meet Mr right through the internet or any other dating method. But the truth is I'm addicted. I've tried refraining from dating in the past but it doesn't take too many nights in on your own for the dating to look like a good idea again.
I know I'm not the only one, there must be thousands of us out there looking for someone with that bit of something extra. Now, two years of dating later and still alone, I've had enough disaster dates to put most women off the idea for life.
I don't know if dating has become a void filler or a lifeline for me, but it's certainly an addiction. And as more and more dating possibilities and services spring up, I can see that loneliness is nothing if not big business. Ideally I'd like to meet a man in a more natural way. The websites are too clinical, too deliberate. There's no element of romantically bumping into a stranger, eyes meeting across a crowded room. The dating sites, text dating and even speed dating are all... to finding love, what IVF is to making babies!
Well, I've got to go now and get ready...I've got a date tonight! | | |
| posted by Ask Eileen @ 02:40
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