WHO WOULD YOU PICK?
Aliases
Handsome Stud, 48
I make up stuff and profiles online all the time. It's fun. I have two main profiles at the wealthy men and celeb dating site MillionaireLoving.com, one where I openly state I just want sex I get tons of hits but I don't follow up on it because I already have a partner. It's just a game.
On the other profile, I say I'm looking for four live-in partners a nurse, a chef, an accountant/lawyer and, basically, a bimbo. It's just a bit of a joke, but I get many responses from women more than you'd expect.
I think it's vital to have the right name on your profile. I mean, which would you pick Handsome Stud or Ugly Cripple?
Toilet shopping on first date
Penelope, 23
Internet dating bites. "Tall, handsome, happy-go-lucky'' equals "short, fat and unemployed''. "Bohemian actor'' equals "balding ginger tosser wearing a shark tooth on a leather strap who once took part in a play as a tree because he was so wooden''.
"Adventurous and sporty'' equals "rock-climbing gym-obsessed guy who wants you to look like a Barbie doll''.
Fleeing the scene of the crime
Vicki, 34
We met for the first time for dinner. I ordered a drink. He said: "You don't drink, do you?'' before going on to tell me that he only imbibed "nature's juice'' (water).
"Whatever,'' I said.
He said: "Women who drink give the impression that they're easy.''
"Whatever,'' I said again.
Online he seemed normal and fun. For some reason maybe I didn't get around to asking he had never disclosed his job. He was a banker who lectured drunkard rock-chick me for the entire evening on my pressing need for a fiscal-management plan.
He also clicked his fingers at the waitress and demanded more nature's juice.
When it came time to pay the bill, he said: "I'll just go to the little banker's room.''
The waitress said "Run run, now. I will make him pay''.
I did.
Virtual wingman
Ben, 36
I got into online dating because a friend was doing it and needed a virtual wingman.
I ended up meeting a girl from Singapore. We chatted for a few months and then I went over there to meet her and ended up living with her for three years.
It ended, but I would definitely go online to meet someone again.
"It's because I'm short, isn't it?"
Claire, 29
I don't believe in internet dating any more, I've had nothing but bad experiences. People lie about themselves. You get your hopes up and then you meet them and it's nothing but a disappointment.
My worst experience was with a man who said he was "tall, average looking but nice and kind''. We arranged to meet. Tall, average and nice was actually a smelly dwarf with an attitude problem.
When I realised he was the person I was meeting, I said: "Look, this isn't going to work''.
He said: "It's because I'm short, isn't it?'' But no, it wasn't.
It was the foul aroma coming off him in cartoon-like waves and that he lied about who he was.
Internet Dating & Online Dating
Feel free to check my blog here:
http://www.millionairecupid.com/AskApril
